How Do We Stop The Killing?

I originally wrote the following several years ago - 2006... but wanted to put it here now... because...

It seems the news has been filled with violence in the last few weeks. The kind that is often referred to as "senseless". Is there any other kind?
The various killings that have taken place in schools around the country as well as the recent revelations of sexual misconduct by a Congressman in Florida have been on my mind and heart not quite constantly, but almost. The underlying problem is what is on my mind. The violence we're seeing is the ugly symptom.

As these things are going on in the world, I'm trying to help my 14 year old daughter deal with the same problem, but as it's being manifested in her group of friends. She is trying to deal with gossip, cruelty and deliberate alienation of certain people in the group, which right now is focused on her.

My concern is first for my child... that she know how to correctly interpret what she is seeing and experiencing. I want her to know how to process this in order to come out on the other side with more wisdom and compassion and not with callouses on her heart that she had to grow out of necessity to protect herself. The lesson is to be true to herself, be honest with her friends and to be able to look at the situation through eyes of love and understanding - to have compassion for the pain and confusion that is driving her friends misbehavior. ( I was so thankful the other day when we were discussing it to hear her say that going through this has taught her even more so how it feels to be alienated. It has caused her to be more compassionate. I have to say that she has always been sensitive to the pain of others, but going through what she is going through is deepening her. She has recognized this and articulated it! JOY!!! She was also able to access compassion for her friends that are in a place of feeling the need to be cruel. These lessons are so valuable! While we would never choose to go through difficult things, nor would we choose them for our children, the truth is these things make you stronger and wiser if they are handled in a heart healthy way).

I am in the process of composing a letter to the mothers of the girls in my daughter's group of friends. The malicious behavior has been going on for years. It causes so much pain and I believe can warp a personality and a life. I am hoping that I can reach out to these women and help them to really look deeply at what is going on. I believe we owe it to our daughters to help them to understand the tremendous power they have to hurt each other or to heal each other if they choose. I would love to see us as their mothers teach them their power, their goodness, their potential as women of TRUE beauty and TRUE power in this world. THIS is where the healing and the cessation of the proverbial "vicious cycle" takes place. If we can teach our children to be kind to themselves and others... the cycle of violence ends. I am really praying over this letter, that it be received in the spirit in which it is being sent. I wouldn't want any of these women to feel that they were being judged or scolded, but what I have to say needs to be said. I am willing to risk being misunderstood for the opportunity to wake them up to what is going on and the importance of not being idle. It reminds me of the saying "all that is necessary for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing" (that is paraphrased, I'm sure). I can't do nothing.

This morning, I read something so beautiful pertaining to the most recent violence in Pennsylvania. The following is from an article on CNN.com:

"A grieving grandfather told young relatives not to hate the gunman who killed five girls in an Amish schoolhouse carnage, a pastor said on Wednesday.

As we were standing next to the body of this 13-year-old girl, the grandfather was tutoring the young boys, he was making a point, just saying to the family, 'We must not think evil of this man,'" the Rev. Robert Schenck told CNN.

"It was one of the most touching things I have seen in 25 years of Christian ministry."'

What that represents is the right thinking that is needed to transcend all this pain. This grandfather has a depth of understanding in the power of forgiveness and he is TEACHING IT TO THE CHILDREN HE HAS ACCESS TO! Instead of those children growing up with hatred and bitterness and fear in their minds and hearts over what they've experienced, they have adults around them who will continually "steer" their thoughts to Truth, to healing, to forgiveness. What this grandfather gives them is an opportunity for healing, to develop a healthy way of processing and thinking about this tragedy. He is saving not only those that he's teaching, but anyone whose lives theirs will eventually touch. A cycle of HEALING is born.

I believe that warping of the personality is at the root of all the crap we see in the world today. When people are wounded, if they don't take the time, or don't have the tools to go about receiving healing, they become warped and the subsequent pain they live in was basically inevitable. This becomes the ugliest of cycles. Each person who has perpetrated violence on others in the past week, has been violated at one time by others and has never healed.

I am taking the most recent violence as an opportunity for learning and for inspiration to continue to speak the Truth of forgiveness and healing. There is no WAY to peace, peace IS the WAY.

I love you all so much. My heart is full of the deepest love and appreciation that you all stand with me in Truth and a vision of a brighter, healed tomorrow. We begin with truly loving ourselves and also with teaching our children the ways of love in their DAILY lives. Let them experience love as a way of living their life on a daily basis and not just for certain people or on certain Hallmark holidays.
We ARE love. Let us embrace it whole heartedly, let it wash over us like a wave and sweep us up as we surrender to the knowing that it is what we ARE... and let us continually reach out to our brothers and sisters and invite them to be swept up with us...

Namaste,
Mary

Why a blog Mary Alice?

Well, I've never even READ a blog, much less written one, but it seems that now is the time to give it a shot. Every so often, I have something to say and this seemed like an interesting way to spout off and share with those who might be interested!

Why the address Mary Alice? The address to get to my blog includes the words I had it all the time. I had a helluva time coming up with a name that wasn't already taken! Amazing how many different things I tried that didn't work. Many years ago I read a book by Alan Cohen that (excuse the cliche) changed my life. I Had It All The Time is a radical book, or it was to me at the time. The book is radical because it posits that we are not the beasts most of us think we are, we are not the sinful sloths so many of us have been taught to believe... we are in fact quite DIVINE! I was astounded at the way my heart leapt at his words about my and the rest of the world's goodness! I Had It All The Time tells us that we are missing nothing. We came here with everything we will ever need to be blissful and live the best life possible. Having everything we need doesn't come from the personality or the good (or bad) fortune of being born into wealth or relative wealth, the everything we need is our perfect soul. More on this later... and sooner!

Why "Be The Change...." Mary Alice? I saw the wisdom in this quote from Gandhi a few years back. It made a lot of sense to me that if there's something I want to see from the world, I should go ahead and bring it to the world myself. I've kept this saying in the forefront of my mind and have been finding ways to live it. More on this later... and sooner!

Why "Mary Alice" Mary Alice? My parents named me Mary Alice after my mother's mom, Mary and my father's mom, Alice. I have really hated the name most of my life. A few years back I began to hate it less. Like it or not, it is my name and I thought I'd take her out for a spin and see how she rides! It's different. We'll see!

So, my first post out of the way. I'm here to write, whether anyone else ever reads it or not is immaterial... I am here to write for the sake of writing!

Namaste!